How to communicate after getting married

How to communicate after getting married
What we often see is that the basic emotion of conjugal relation is good, but there are questions in communicating with each other and exchanging, have influenced the mutual relation. A couple see the other side's advantage more during the course of falling in love, and after getting married, the long shortcoming lives for time together to expose gradually, in addition, couple come from different family, culture background, social relationships. For example a husband's original family is had the final say on by father, mother just does house work, he has thought since childhood the big man is the secretary's, should not do house work, he knows the ownership of property of home is right too. And parents are relatively equal in his wife's original family, father often helps mothers to do house work, so easy to think husband should help oneself to make house work too, this pair of couple has different views and requirements on thing of doing house work livesing, so the contradiction of often staying and happening. Different views do not matter, the communication that it can be very good between couple. Can co-adaptation. Couple have three kinds of functions 1 to communicate, transmit information each other, let the other side know, both sides share and face things happened, and feel couple are integrative. 2,Solicit, express the opinion, discuss and solve the method of dealing with thing. 3,The communication among couple has an important function, it is to let the other side know your emotion to him at any time, explain your appreciation, fondness could keep and consolidate the emotion among couple with the special feeling in this way. The expression on the emotion, not by speaking orally, it is not expressions of the language from the expression, movement or others, but sometimes praise one's own spouse directly, say that it is very important to love curtains. Most common couple communicate, lie in, think, needn't say the other side should clear each other while being difficult, so long as can mind understand, one of own side need often talking in fact, show meaning, share and experience. Two people lack and communicate to relate to two people personalities sometimes, someone does not like expressing with language by birth, it is shy to combine with, there is not confidence that adhere to one's own opinion, especially two people have weak personality, the personality is stopped weakly by the other side once opening one's mouth. Unwilling to open as time passes to express the opinion. The other side of other couple criticizes and criticizes, turn the dispute of the internal heat into bringing at once once opening one's mouth, can not communicate, this often relates to the fact that couple communicate confusedly. The conjugal relation should be a relation of adult's equality to the adult, respect each other, discussion question that can be rational. The example one: Husband: What's for the supper today? Wife: I want to eat Kentucky once, do not you speak the taste that want to taste it too? This, to the contacts of adult's consciousness, the husband's words are exploratory with adult's consciousness each other once, also reflected the opinion on the wife and respect of the taste. Have united the husband's hope and one's own intention in the wife's answer, have expressed one's own view candidly, has expressed the consideration to the husband too, the what wife who the husband said in the past wrote in the heart, this kind of contacts was successful, it plays a positive role to good relations of both sides. The example two,: Do you know where my blue shirt is? Wife: You, the clothes are always thrown out without care, nothing knows. The husband's words are exploratory, but the wife does not answer his doubt, just criticize, point to the husband with parents' consciousness, it is the unsuccessful contacts. If the wife tells his shirt where it is at first, or express willingness to help him to look for, or I am busy doing some thing now, after a while help him to look for. Say " I am sorry " One kind, the wife's response is just likewise to adult's consciousness with adult's consciousness. In associating, should pay attention to art that speaks. (1), while making demands to others, the impression of the other side is understood at first, for instance: I know you are very tired, but you place one's own clothes on fixing the place. (2), want, judge the case as it stands, don't say together discontent to other things out, can't say: " you are always so " " you are always like this " (3), the purpose to express and experience lies in solving the problem, it is not to want to quarrel, while showing that discontented, should propose you to the next suggestion, for instance: "It is getting late to phone either for you to go home, family members worry, had better can notify family one in advance next time very much. " Turn complaining about into a hope. (4), don't improve voice, tune that needn't satirize, pull a long face still more, use and point and blame the other side. (5), if your candid words saying oneself and wanting to say, the other side is angry, the attitude is very abominable, you should be against the ball " Play back " Don't think, whether it is forbearing and conciliatory it is suffer a loss by oneself,after will regret he,after he cools down, you are too more calmly to talk with he late, " when a person outroared, another person should hark, add until when two people both outroared, link up, can speak. It has to be noise and shake, you are unable to gain and dispute. In eight or nine cases out of ten, the result disputed will make both sides believe even more oneself is absolutely correct than before. Too much dispute between couple, will only injure the emotion, you criticize the other side, if what you criticized is right, but this kind of criticism, has often injured the other side's heart, you or fault. You had better not criticize, should praise more, propose more, turn the full resentment into a hope. Chatter and excavate the grave for the marriage, criticism makes people heart-broken.

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